The Begining

The bus was waiting near Merlin Laurel Gardens. We were all ready to gear up for the annual picnic of our favorite English  tuition. We all had our belongings with us. Some of us carrying badminton rackets, some carrying football where others carrying cricket kit. I hardly knew anyone apart from our batch and obviously excluding Sir and his family, everyone was just stranger to me there because i was a bit introvert that time. Well,seated at a corner of a sofa in Sir's drawing room, was noticing all the boys working, was eagerly waiting for the picnic journey to start. Was excited cz it was my first year of tuition picnic and probably the 1st picnic where i'll be with my peer group.

Apart from all the other boys, there was one who was continuously getting onto my nerves, he talked so much and was a complete mad person. I have known him before and have always hated him for his over smart behavior. "What the hell does he think himself to be?" , i have always thought. He loved poking in his big fat noes in every issue and he was an expert in creating a scene out of everything. He was my tuition mate,studying in different batch, though same class. He was a clown,everyone laughed at him, still he was shameless...

All the candidates going for the picnic arrived, we went to the bus,I got a comfortable window seat beside Sir's daughter, and we were ready to set off...All were having fun, i was enjoying with them, though seated. Rony and that irritating brat , both were dancing to the song "Main agar kahu.." , a track number from the movie Om Santi Om. We got our breakfast in the bus. The journey continued for nearly 3-4 hours.

We finally reached our destination , Chandanpur , a village near Singur. Our Sir had his vast empty lands there, most of them were given for rent to the villagers there. Obviously Sir was very famous there, nearly everyone knew him. As we got down from the bus, everyone headed towards the field, we, girls carried our badminton rackets and throwballs while boys carried there cricket kits and football. As we reached the ground, a larger part of the field was reserved for the boys to play cricket and we girls managed to get a smaller section of the field for playing our games. The cricket game was exciting..the two team captains were Sir and that fat-nosed irritating guy. Don't remember who batted first but i remember both teams playing pretty well..Sir's performance was mind blowing, while that dumbo's performance was not bad astonishingly. :P
While the sports time was over we were called for our lunch. I was made to sit in the first batch. It was Sir and Ma'am's command, had to follow. Most of the students were sitting in the first batch, and there was a competition called on for the highest appetite. The person who can have the highest amount of food wins the game. To be obvious i can never be a part of the competition (lol) , the guys took the challenge and strtd eating. My lunch was over, still they wre continuing to eat as much as they could. The irritating guy was as stubborn as he could, it was gradually becoming impossible for him to eat which even made him lie down on the carpet and then eat, still he would not get up. Ma'am told him to leave bt he didnt pay her a heed. At one point he gave up, the winner was Pratik Dutta (PD), he was our senior and a pass out of school. The whole thing was funny, sorry for not being able to express it more humorously. Well. something more funnier happened, sorry cannot tell that in publc site. Everyone presented in the Picnic definitely knows what I'm telling. It was rather more embarrassing than being humorous. :D

The sun was ready to set and we had to go back. We went up in the  bus,got ourselves ready to go. We all were tired but someone was more tired. The highly irritating comic guy was sitting in the back seat of the bus, feeling sick. Before getting onto the bus, he had told me to carry his bat to the bus, he was tired enough to carry that and that was perhaps the second time we spoke to each other (the first tym being an year earlier). In the bus I was seating beside Sumanta Da, a senior. He had been conversing with me for long, he then asked my number which i gave him thinking him not to be dangerous, that he wasn't. I was seated in my seat, realizing the fact that the irritating Dumbo had been looking at me many times from his seat, though i stayed ostentatious.

We finally reached our home, the picnic came to an end.


Two days later, Sumanta Da called me up suddenly.

"Hello"
"Hello,Sumanta Da, say what made you called me?"
"I just called you to say that Krish was wanting your number and i gave him, hope you didnt mind"
I kept silence, actually I was irritated cz Krish was only that irritating fat-nosed clown i hated. I tried to cool down myself.
"Well, what more can be done, you have already given him my number. it's ok"
I disconnected the phone.

Krish had already started texting me.I couldnt help talking to him. I ignored 1 msg, 2 msgs, 3 msgs..then it went on and finally i had to reply.
Then we started talking to him and as we became friends i realized he is not as bad as i thought him to be. He remained aloof from the fact that i used to hate him like anything once.
He still doesnt knws. :)
We gradually became very good friends. then best friends..then i suddenly became so close to him that i started sharing every light and dark truths with him which i never did with anyone. He gradually became a special part of my life...

The rest of the story you can find in a previously written blog..

http://donadey1991.blogspot.com/2011/02/oh-shit.html?spref=bl

and then

http://donadey1991.blogspot.com/2011/06/sravania-girl-next-doorpart-ii.html


Now Krish and me are nomore together, not even friends. We have departed,too busy with each other's lives..
Today the 26th day of the last month is that very day "the most irritating fat-nosed comedian" became my friend, the same day of our english tuition picnic. These memories have become mortal in his mind but in my mind they are as fresh as  they were made.

I truly miss him...nobody could yet take his place in my heart and my life...


P.S.: I said I was very introvert that time coz a month before i had lost my father and after him. i forgot to depend upon anyone and trust anyone,a space was empty in my heart and Krish came in to fill the space up. Now it's again void. ....







To be continued........................

Enlightenment

A new phase of my life starts from today. 1st November, 2011, will remain as a memorable day of my life. A sudden realization worked in me. Today was my Dad's 4th death anniversary. Call it a self-conscience or some divine power's effect, but, suddenly today something within me taught me that the life I am leading is different, it is not something normal. 

I had always blamed Bozo for leaving me alone, dumping me. Have I ever thought that I must be wrong somewhere that made him leave me ? We always blame people, but never recognize our fault. I always blamed him but he always tried to highlight my faults, though indirectly, but he did. Today when I understood my fault, he is there supporting me, still guiding me..I truly love you..especially for this behavior of yours...

Sravani....a girl next door...part II

"Call me at 3 p.m...got something very important to tell you and i don't have balance at all" , a text message flashed on my Nokia1600's screen. The message was sent by Krish.

I was very curious to hear what Krish was going to tell me. "What can be so important?", i wondered. I didn't know how to call Krish at 3p.m. b'cause I was even running short of balance. I was so damn inquisitive to know the matter, at about 2.55p.m. I went out of my home and called up Krish from a STD booth telling him that I don't have balance to call him from my cell.

"Hello Krish, i don't have enough balance to call you from my cell so tell me fast what you had to tell me,i don't have much money for the STD booth bill"., I said.

"OK I'm calling you because the thing I'm going to tell would take some time", answered Krish and hung up the phone.

"What the hell is Krish trying to do?", i thought.

Suddenly my phone started ringing and as expected Krish was calling. I answered the phone.

"Hello..", I heard Krish's shaky voice from the phone.

"Yes Krish,what's wrong with your voice? you sound nervous. Is everything all right?", I said in a tensed voice.

"Oh yes, nothing's wrong. You say what's up with you?", Krish said trying to avoid something.

"Nothing much,came out to give you a call as you wanted, say what you had to say!",i answered back.

"Umm..nothing..bunk it..How's Aunty?",Krish asked avoiding the matter.

"She's fine...but..."

"Oh that's good so what excuse brought you out?", Krish said chuckling and stopping me to complete my sentence. I was shocked thinking that why is he trying to avoid the matter he wanted to tell me. He said it is very important then----

"I came out with the excuse of buying a file paper",I answered.

"Oh nice.. OK then bye", he was trying to cut the phone.

"OH wait wait...you called me to tell me something important,right? what is it? ", I interrogated.

"Ah ummm..i mean..errr...i- i- i wanted to tell that...ummm..bunk it",Krish said stammering.

"Kill you..tell me what happened and stop stammering",I said.

"I have to say this?"

"yes"

"Errrr....I wanted to say that I love someone", finally Krish said.

"OMG..what??? that's great...who is the lucky girl?", i asked in an excited voice.

"Don't have to know the name,just tell me how to propose that girl, I'm very nervous...I asked everyone but no one could say...do something ...I madly love her and can't live..."

"Oh wait wait wait buddy....how can i tell you the way to propose her without knowing who she is...am i a  love guru or something??"

"yes you are.."

What???"

"Please do something, I really need your help"

"But how?? Tell me the girl's name then.......wait...hold for a second,I'm in a shop to buy a file paper", I kept the phone on hold and asked the shopkeeper..."Can i get a file paper please!!!"..

I unheld the phone and answered.."Huh say Krish"

"The name is Sravani", Krish said in a shaky voice...

Silence prevailed for two seconds and....

"What???? It is me???", I asked shockingly.

The phone got cut at that moment..Krish's phone's balance was over...

I was still in a manner of shock and was thinking of calling Krish again or not. I couldn't ignore it,I went to a STD booth again to call Krish. Meanwhile, I was thinking what my answer would be.

I went inside a phone booth and dialed  Krish's number. Now my hands were trembling. Krish answered the phone.

"Hello"

"Hello Krish...."

"I knew you would call...Yes Sravani the girl is you..I truly love you and till today i didn't know how to face you regarding this..please Sravani don't say no.."

I didn't know what to say and i kept quiet.

"Sravani i know silence is golden but not at this moment...please...it is killing me..I promise to love you forever."

"I----I never thought about this..we are best friends,right?", i said

"yes we are",he answered, "and will be forever but I really love you and please don't say no"

"I need time"

"You take time...you take my whole life but say a yes...please...I know you also love me...I had seen that in your eyes. You do one thing, you close your eyes and see what come's first,if it is my face then answer me"

I closed my eyes and a bright well known face came in front of me...the face of Krish...

"Krish...I agree..my answer is a YES.."

Suddenly I heard the joy in the voice of Krish...

"Sravani thanks a lot...you don't know what you have given me today....yuuhuuuuu...i can't believe my ears...I love you so much..I will give anything you want except for breaking the Moon and Stars...these are unrealistic things..our love is practical and we don't need to know each other much as we already know a lot about each other........."

My ears wanted to hear more of his voice so I didn't want to stop him but suddenly it struck me that my STD booth's bill was increasing and i didn't have much money for the bill.  

"Krish...I think I should keep the phone now...It's late and I need to go back home", I interrupted Krish.

"Oh sure...talk to you later...love you..bye"

"Bye Krish and yeah i'm equally happy as you are...love you too",I finished and kept the phone.

I paid the bill amount and it luckily didn't exceed my budget..

I strolled back home still thinking about Krish. I smiled to myself,thinking that my best friend became boy friend,perhaps my first love...I was actually very happy that day...It was my life's happiest day...1st July,2008...

...Princess' Blogs...: Sravani....a girl next door...

...Princess' Blogs...: Sravani....a girl next door...: " 'Oh sh..."

“Girl chasers stab boy to death, DM’s guards 100m away refuse to step in”

“Girl chasers stab boy to death, DM’s guards 100m away refuse to step in”, 

This was the cover page news of the newspaper of 16^th Feb, 2011.

‘What shocking news!’ I thought as I held my morning tea in one hand and the newspaper in another reading the frontline of the newspaper early in the morning.

A class 10’s student was stabbed to death by a group of boys because he tried to defend his sister when those boys pursued his sister and sprinkled alcohol on her. This event took place on 15th Feb night at Barasat. The boy, Rajib Das, aged 16 was cycling his sister; Rinku Das, 23 back to home from Barasat railway station when they were stopped by a band of drunkards near the bungalow of district magistrate and IAS officer Vinod Kumar. Rinku Das is a call centre employee, who was on her way back home from her office in Lenin Sarani, Kolkata. Same as other days, she was dropped at Sealdah railway station by a car from her office from where she boarded a train to Barasat. From Barasat railway station she was picked up by her brother, Rajib in his cycle and they were on their way to home, at Banikanthanagar (2km away from Barasat railway station) when such a dreadful thing happened. The drunkards sprinkled alcohol on Rinku, wanted to douse her and take her away with them. Rajib protested as he could not let this happen. Rajib was punched and kicked by those drunkards and then brutally stabbed. Rinku seemed to be helpless and ran to the gate of the bungalow of the DM for help and banged the iron gate repeatedly for help. The guards inside the gate refused to come out for help saying that they can’t get out of their duty position. Rinku pleaded them but they did not listen. One of the guards gave her the phone number of the nearest police station which was about 1km away from the spot. Rinku was helpless and again she ran to her brother to find him being carried away by two people on a van rickshaw and Rajib lying on the van, squatting and blood was gushing out of the wound on his abdomen. The murderers had already fled away from the spot. Rajib was carried to the nearby hospital where he died.

This is today’s scenario. Innocent people are killed for protesting against a filthy crime like eve-teasing and the main culprits are openly moving around. No place is anymore secured for girls. People who are responsible for our security, are numb and action less, people who have got the authority to punish these people are quiet then what will we, the general people do? Where do we go to seek help? 

Sravani....a girl next door...

                                                                                                                                  

"Oh shit..What a miss!!” ,Krish yelled out when Ashok Dinda missed the catch of M.S.Dhoni. We were sitting in the drawing room of our english tuition watching IPL t20 in the television. The match was between KKR and CSK.

"Sravani, get one more packet of chips, this one has finished”, Jit ordered me showing me the empty packet of Lays.

 “Why don’t you get it yourself, the shop is just outside the housing complex!” , I said in disgust as he was trying to distract me from the match. I turned my eyes from him and again held them on the television screen trying to concentrate back on the match.

” This game of cricket is not meant for you girls, you fool...!!",Jit told me. 

"I understand cricket more than you, I’m not a fool like you, you looser!” ,  I said again turning back to him.                                 

 "You just see what I do to you when we get out”, Jit threatened me.

"Oh really, then lets see who does what to whom, dogs like you can only bark they don’t bite", I said him.

Krish been unable to concentrate on his match shouted at us,” Will you guys please shut up your mouths or please go out, fight your best, finish up your fight and then come back peacefully".  

"This was Sravani's fault, she started it first", Jit said pointing his finger at me.                                                                                   

"I didn’t start it,you had started it, bloody looser”, I said him pointing my finger at him.

"Sssshhh,no slang Sravani,it is bad!!!", suddenly sir spoke out who was sitting silently at one corner of  a sofa concentrating on the cup of tea in his hand and the cricket match going on the television set.” And you two stop fighting, let’s concentrate on the match"

"Jit and Sravani, you two go out and get some snacks, the chips have finished and you all would need some more snacks to munch upon while you watch the match", Ma'am said as she came out from the kitchen. So far she kept quiet working in the kitchen. “As you go out, you both can finish up your quarrel on the road"

"Ma'am, this type of fights are regular between us. We both cant live without fighting with each other for even one day",I said smiling at ma'am.

"Ma'am, this is the way of expressing our love for each other, we don’t fight seriously. We cant stop doing this, afterall I call her my  sister..!!, Jit smiled and said this to ma'am.

"Howzzzzzat",Krish shouted in joy. We turned back  to see the TV. Dhoni was bowled out. The ball was delivered by our very own Sourav Dada.

"Well done Dada...!!",yelled out Krish again. He was very excited watching Dhoni go out of the field giving a sad look.

"Yieepeee", I screamed, "Korbo lorbo jeetbo re..Dada rocks..Mahi sucks...!!!"

"It was a fabulous wicket taken by Dada”, said Sir.

"Well,during this short commercial break,Jit and Sravani go and get the snacks", Ma'am said looking at me and Jit.

"Yeah Ma'am surely",said I standing up and asking Jit to stand up,"Jit.lets go".

Ma'am handed me some money of about 20 bucks to buy the snacks. Me and Jit were going out when Krish stopped me from back."Hey Sravani, get me a packet of Lays if you don’t mind”, said Krish taking out a 10 bucks note from his shirt's pocket. I was shocked for once to see him being so formal with me. He rarely showed these types of formalities on me.Then i got him, all these formalities were due to Sir and Ma'am's presence.

"Yeah surely Krish",I smiled and said him as i took the money from him.

 "Why you didn’t ask him to get it himself like you had asked me??,Jit asked me."Well he is afterall your dear Krish,you cant say a no to him,he is very special to you.isnt it??"

Sir and Ma'am were looking at me and Krish giving us a suspicious look.

"Yeah Krish is special to me because he is my best friend", I said immediately to avoid their suspicious look. I pulled Jit with me out of the door. "why the hell you don’t keep your mouth closed at times when you cant use your brains?",i said it to Jit punching him on his back as we walked down the stairs.He punched me back on my arm.

We took about fifteen minutes to come back with the snacks and the packet of Lays for Krish. We entered Sir's house and saw that the match had already begun. I gave the packet of Lays to Krish and straight went up to the kitchen to assist Ma'am to distribute the snacks. We brought the snacks to distribute. After distributing the snacks we all sat together in front of the TV to watch the match and to munch upon the snacks. The match was about to finish. CSK had to score 15 more runs from 10 balls.

Finally, KKR won the match and we started cheering for KKR. After that me,Krish and Jit came out of Sir's house and were strolling down the streets chatting, joking and walking together. We three were very good pals and often hung out together. Although both Jit and Krish were close to me but Krish was my best friend. I shared every thing with him. Krish,Jit and me were students of class 10, studying in different schools but same english tuition.

As we were strolling and gossiping, we had no idea how the time was passing. Suddenly I looked at my watch to see that it was already time for me to get back home.

“Hey guys need to go, catch you later. Bye and make sure u both come to Sir’s house on the next match of KKR.”,I  said as I waved at both of them bidding them good bye. I strolled back my way to my home.

  The IPL rage was finally over. The former day was the finals but the KKR were crushed out of the match much before that. I woke up at eight in the sunday morning and before sitting up on the bed I looked for my cell phone which lied under my pillow.

‘2 messages received’ flashed on my mobile screen I opened my phone’s inbox to find that the sender of these two messages was Krish.

MESSAGE 1: ‘Hellos wassup, gud morning!! J’

MESSAGE 2: Still asleep or wat??’

I went up to the washroom to brush my teeth as I was going through Krish’s messages. I kept my phone outside the washroom and went inside. After around twenty-five minutes, I came out after taking a fresh bath.

“Sravani, come fast to the dining table!”, My mom called me for breakfast.

“Coming ma, just two minutes!” , I answered my mom.

After finishing stuffs like combing my hair and all I took my cell phone, which was lying on the table outside the washroom and forwarded towards the dining table where my whole family was waiting for me to come for breakfast. This generally does not happen on weekdays, having breakfast with the whole family. But as it was Sunday, we all preferred to start our day together with the whole family on the breakfast table.

My family constituted of my grandmother as the eldest person in the family, my Dad, my mom and my younger brother. I suddenly remembered Krish’s messages. Sitting at my dining table with my family, I concentrated on replying Krish. I started typing:

‘Gud morng buddy, wazup?’

I sent the message to him and then started with my breakfast.

"This mobile phone is ruining the life of all students. They shouldn't be handed a mobile phone unless they are self dependant", commented my grandma seeing me working over my cell phone.

“Nowadays mobile phone is a necessity, grandma!”,I answered her back looking at her.

At that moment, another sms entered my cell phone. The message was of Krish. The text written in the message was:

‘Hi sravani, I jz returnd home 4m d field as I was practicing cricket since morng. Neways,wazup wid u? Y such a late rply? Got up late?’

I started replying his message when mom suddenly interrupted.

“Sravani, stop messaging and carry on with your breakfast”, commanded my mom.

“Please ma, don’t start this again”, I said.

My whole family was staring at me; I neglected their look and re-concentrated on replying Krish.I started typing the text message. The message read:

‘I ws hvng brkfst wid my family..yeah buddy I actually got up late n d morning. I ws studyn late nyt cz xams r strtn 4m nxt Monday...’

I sent him the message.

I had already finished with my breakfast as I was sending the message to Krish. I got up from the chair and went straight inside my room closing the door behind me. My mood got pissed off due to the interruption of my family while I was messaging Krish. I generally never had behaved so rudely with my family or anyone but if anyone interrupted in between when I was busy with Krish then I couldn’t control my fury. I felt guilty about the thing I had done at the dining table.

“I shouldn’t have behaved that way with everyone at the table today”, I thought.

A message entered my phone and the sender had to be Krish. I opened the message.

‘Gud dat u r studyn,I thnk I shud strt studyn by nw as my xams r also strtn jz aftr a week aftr urs r strtn. Anyways gotta go 2 ttn ryt nw, msg u latr, bye cal u n d eveng.’

I smiled as I went through the message and replied him:

‘Ok bye’.

Krish been my closest friend and my best friend held a special part in my life. I did not compromise him with anything or anyone in this world. He had always been very special to me and everyone thought that there was something going between us. Maybe some feelings were growing in my heart for him but I never understood my own heart.

These thoughts were creeping my mind when I suddenly remembered that my examinations were not far. I cleared up my mind from these thoughts, took out my Geography book from my bookshelf, sat with the book, and started studying.

At about four past ten in the evening, I was comfortably lying on the divan in my room reading ‘The Complete Series of Sherlock Holmes” with complete attention when my mobile phone suddenly began to ring. It was Krish on the phone who was calling me as he had messaged me and said that he would give me a call in the evening. I took his call and heard Krish’s voice on the other side of the line. He said in a cool voice:

“Hello“

-Yeah Krish, say what’s up?” , I said

“Nothing much, was planning to have a walk at the Joggers’ Park, I was thinking if you could join me, I…I meant to say..errr…if you had no problem then----“

-“Oh sure dude, why should I have a problem? Anyways I was getting bored inside the house. Where are you now?”

“In my home right now”

-”Ok so you reach the Joggers’ Park, I’m joining you in ten minutes!”

“Ok as you say… meet you then, bye!”

-“Bah-bye but be quick, reach fast, don’t make me stand and wait”

“Ok bye”, he said and hung up the phone.

I threw my cell phone on my bed and quickly went up to my wardrobe to take out my dress. In five minutes I got ready and left my home. I went up to the rickshaw stand for taking a rickshaw. I took one and went up to Joggers’ Park. I was paying the rickshaw when I saw Krish entering the Park’s gate. He saw me and stopped. I paid up my rickshaw, joined him, and went inside the park.

We went inside the park and started walking together. I usually loved to come to Joggers’ Park, especially when Krish was there escorting me. I actually loved Krish’s company. If I would ask my heart why I was so much fond of Krish, why I enjoyed every moment I spent with Krish, as if each moment were one of the best moments of my life, I didn’t get any answer in return.

“Your birthday is on ninth of June, isn’t it?, asked Krish breaking the silence which dwelled between such till now from the time we had started walking together.

“Yeah but suddenly why you are asking this?”, asked me looking up at him.

“No actually I was thinking, my birthday was ten days before you, that is on 30^th May so—“

“So what Krish?”

“Nothing, just like that, I meant to say then I’m ten days elder to you”

“Yeah, so what? What is so strange about it? You can be elder to me! “

“Yeah then we both are of the same zodiac sign”

“Yeah and that is why our way of thinking is equal to some extent”

“That’s right!” said he.

Our discussion kept going and we finally left the Joggers’ Park after walking for an hour. Everyday we came to Joggers’ Park and the proximity between us increased day by day.

This story has not yet finished....to know what happens next, wait for the next  part of the story.....

Princess' diary2

Life has become so ostentatious nowadays. I am trying to prove it to everyone that I am back as a tomboy. Yes, I was a tomboy three years back but as he entered my life, everything changed. Now that he is gone, I am trying to get back my old self as a tomboy but I wish it were so easy. I just want to keep on pretending in front of him that I am happy, I do not posses any feelings in my heart for him anymore and I want him to hate me. The more he would hate me, the more it would be easy for me to stay away from him. The way I am presenting myself in front of him is just my acting. I am trying to pull out an image of mine as a mad, over reacting, blabbering girl. I am trying my best so that he hates me more and more. I want to let him hate me as much as possible but I just want him to be happy with his love and with whatever he is happy. I know he got his love, his life and all his happiness in one person and I got no right to spoil his happiness. I had loved him, I love him and I will love him forever but will never try to pull out my heart’s feelings in front of him. I am trying to show that I hate him but I wish it were so easy. After what he did to me, I should have hated him for that but one thing is very true, life is too small to hate someone.

He hates me I know that because the way I am presenting myself to him is quiet obvious for him to hate me. He is happy, that means a lot to me and I do not want anything more. Who has said I am not happy? I am happy, very happy because he is happy. He is getting that happiness from someone which happiness I wanted to give him but I failed, but now that he is getting all that I wanted to give him, from someone else and that is bringing smile to his face, why I should not be happy? His smile is not even worth million dollars for me, it is something more than just a sum of million dollars. I hate to see him sad. Sadness does not suite him. He looks the worst when he is sad or is crying. I cannot compare his smiling face with any worldly or heavenly pleasure; they fall too cheap in front of his smiling face.

He is happy with her, I know but still sometimes, somewhere I envy her. It is not that I am possessive about him, it is just because I still love him and it is a part of human nature and there is no doubt that I am a human being.  I cannot be possessive about him because I had never possessed him but yes, I sometimes envy his girlfriend but the moment I see her making him smile, I see him being happy with her, I smile to myself and say, ” That is what I wanted, his happiness”.

"After many days I had been so honest, nakedly honest"…

December 11, 2010.